“Belay On”

One of my favorite things to do when I went to summer camp was to do rappelling. If you have not done it before, you have to try it at least once. You will get strapped into a harness that you put together with a nylon strap and a carabineer, and then you slide a climbing rope through it and down you go over the edge. The hardest part is the first few steps. You have to get yourself in a sitting position and then go over the edge. It will not work if you are hesitant to trust the rope or the harness or the person who is there belaying down the rope. You start with the command “On Belay?”, then wait for them to say “Belay on!” That is your cue to get in that imaginary chair and take that dreaded step over the edge of the cliff. It is so much fun to walk, hop, and even leap down the edge of a cliff, once you get the hang of it. But, it can be really scary if you are not trusting in your equipment and your partner.

As I have been thinking a lot about my attitude going into this sabbatical and how I have been a bit over zealous in my plans and goals that I have made. I have a series of books that I am going to read, to both develop me as a staff and to sharpen my leadership skills, I have a peer visit in my plans to meet with a successful community college staff. I have a men’s ministry at my church that I am launching, as well as meeting with several ministry leaders who are going to help me on this journey that I am on. As I met with one of the ministry leaders, she has helped me think about how I need to let Christ be the one leading my time. I think I was letting my plans be the thing that was dictating my progress and how successful my sabbatical was going. I need to let the Holy Spirit guide my steps and my spiritual growth.

One of the more difficult steps for me was having my sabbatical go over the fall quarter. I love the beginning of the school year. I love doing New Student Outreach. I love meeting new students, casting vision to a new flock of freshmen. I love putting together a plan with my students and seeing it executed. This takes a lot out of me and I knew if I really wanted to have a restful sabbatical I should do it in the fall. The hardest part of all of this is that I have no control over what will happen with the different campuses that I oversee. I need to trust God! I need to trust the people he has appointed to do the work I was doing when I am gone from campus. I feel like both schools are in capable hands, its just weird to let go and have no control, no say, no input in what will happen. I know this is an area that God wants to work on with me. He wants me to learn what true dependence is.

As I think about my daughter Leah and her battle with Cystic Fibrosis. I realize that what I am learning is that I have no control over finding a cure, or on how long she will live. I need to be dependent upon God, dependent upon the doctor’s care, dependent upon the scientists that are researching new medications to help her.

Just as my daughters were dependent upon Kathy and I to feed them and change their diapers when they were babies, I need to learn what it means to be dependent on Christ. So often I am acting out of my own capabilities that I cheat God out of what He want to do in me and through me. Most of the times I would rather have people depend upon me, then me to be dependant upon God. I want to live as one that is dependent upon the Holy Spirit’s guidance in my thoughts and in my actions. So please pray with me as I get in that sitting position. As I call out to God “On Belay?” I know He will say “Belay on!”